.one too many.

bad news first.

the front cover of The Daily Mail warns

“you are fatter than you think!”

no doubt,

i was shaken to the core.

but yes, there was good news…

today’s horoscope was all hopes and affirmations..

and i quote…

Gemini:

The bottom line is that that you are the brightest star in the sky right now

and the person by your side is the luckiest person on the planet.

Your creative energy and emotions will be enhanced, but with insecurity.

It will be possible to follow your dreams if you have trust.

you’re also the best photographer i know.

(i may have added that last bit)

in unrelated news,

this is what i look like in a video game.

canny.

every blueprint.

every model.

ever.

not really but still…

here’s a taste.

…

BMW 2800cs circa 1970

corvette.  1978.

Zaporozhskiy Avtomobilniy Zavod aka ZAZ presents the pride of their stable, the Zaporozhetz!

no.  you’re boring.

sometimes a clever notion.

1.2 million hard copies of these were handed out in the triborough this morning.

someone put in some effort.

my favorites are…

“maximum wage law passes congress”

and

“public relations industry forecasts a series of massive layoffs.”

all this hope is going to be the death of us.

enjoy.

i’m a bit worn at the moment.

work sucks.

love sucks.

money sucks.

my bike has a dent.

my hassy has a light leak.

i’m not in jamaica.

my cats are still veryvery cool.

anyways,

in an effort not to dwell,

here are 5 things that have made me happy this week.

this is purely out of boredom but since i don’t think anyone is out there…

fuck it.

an open shirt and a heart-shaped belt buckle.

bad ass demeanor and disdain are sold seperate.

sophia ‘snaggletooth’ rose.

jesus.

light.

isn’t that wholesome…

canepari believes in one god too…

man o man.

is it ever.

florida has reaffirmed my love for the fifty nifty.

in a time of doubts and finger pointing,

in a state poor and dysfunctional,

my life has been saved.

and let me be clear,

i am no nationalist.

in fact, i’m about as disgruntled as it comes.

but i will admit that this last week has been a revelation.

…cowboys swamps applepie cowskulls milkshakes neon highways rodeos airboats budlight pickuptrucks monstertrucks mud…

proof is in the pudding.

10 best things about America according to Canepari

1.  australia can kiss my star spangled…

cowboy steak.

grilled.

boom.

number two.

that’s right.

they are for real.

number 3.

camp.

kitsch.

quirk.

self-destruction.

excess.

neon.

weight issues.

pastels.

that may seem like eight things but it is really one thing.

it is elvis.

fried peanut butter sandwiches and speedballs were his vice…

what’s yours??

4.

the middle.

the conservative right.

those that voted for bush.

those that carry ak-47s in their F3500.

those that think luxury is new mudtires and a case of bush beer.

they are weird and fucked up but without them,

there would be no dialogue.

and without a dialogue there is no elvis.

and if there is no elvis,

then i would probably be working at a bank.

i love you conservative right.

FIVE.

a guy feeding chicken to 14 foot aligators is so awesome.

i’m sorry

but it is.

6.

halloween.

it’s ours and ours alone.

and

2 plastic pumpkins for $3

is a steal.

consume.

7.

this guy.

and this guy.

(i actually had this photo of burt in a folder on my desktop.  please don’t tell anyone)

8.

the ugly tourist

(sorry lady.  i’m sure you’re very sweet).

just like the conservative middle…

‘i notnot you not possible’

ask martin parr.

numbernine.

brag.   bluster.  boast.  crow.  gloat.  grandstand.  hotdog.  prate.  puff.  showboat.  rodomondate.

(special thanks to thesauraus.com)

we do that.

in fact, it is one of our most favorite pastimes.

“bodacious. in your face..”

and number 10.

two days ago i would never have written this post.

but it is a new day america.

and thank god also cause i was not mentally prepared for the alternative.

even if it ends badly

it is sososo huge.

gigantic.

the key is embracing.

the bad is soso good.